leilockheart:

Found on - LINK

thekowalsky:

I’m dying, dying to wake up without you, without you in my head again
I’m dying, dying to forget about you, that you ever lived
There’s a shade come over this heart that’s coping with laying down to rest
I’m dying to live without you again

I’m dying, dying to find a distraction, get you…

THIS IS ONE OF THE MY TIMELESS SONGS AS WELL :D

Everytime I asked you “Why are you not coming home?” you only replied it with your smile. Then I woke up and your smile was the only thing left in my mind. I miss you, Dad. You know that, don’t you? I wish we could have a quality time together again, even for only one day. Mm, one hour. Okay, 5 minutes. I really want you to see me in person and hug me tightly.

I know this sounds crazy but that is the only thing I’ve always wanted since you’re gone. No one understands how much it hurts waking up and find there is no you anymore.

Since I was a baby, the only one I always looked up was you because you had everything and did things those amazed me. You were very smart, true-hearted, and was a very patient man I’ve ever known. I looked you as my favourite man. I was your big fan. I told to my friends that I had a great father. Until everything changed. I wasn’t your nice daughter anymore. I started to break loose. I started to be a stubborn jerk.

I always feel sorry that we ever had spaces. I grew up and suddenly forgot that we used to be very close. But the only thing I remember was everytime I yelled at you, my heart cried. Every time I saw your sad face, my heart ached. I blamed you for every mess happened in our home. I just didn’t know how to reacted. I was just a stupid teenager full of stupidity. I didn’t know how to appreciate the heart that loved me very much.

Guess, a sorry would never pay every mistake I did to you, dad.. I regret it.

You taught me many things in life. You taught me to stay still on our feet even  when people humiliate us. You never took revenge to the people who did you harm. You always said “God is not blind, kid”. You taught me to fight for the one you loved, no matter what no matter how you just loved her. Your unconditional and sincere love was your legacy that have touched me. I sometimes wonder how could a man had a very good heart like you. That’s why you are forever precious, priceless, and irreplaceable. I’ve always proud to be your daughter. Dad, I’m still your lil princess. Will always be.

Dad, final hours before you left I prayed and asked to God to gave me one more chance to fix everything. Promised God I would be nice, promised would spend my entire life just to have fun with you like what we used to do. But there, it never happened. I never knew why He couldn’t give me even the last chance. I don’t need a “God has a beautiful plan for you, Tira” sentence. I believe He has, but why? Today, I’m dying to tell dad that I already graduated from college, got my first (real) job at Citibank, and curently living in Jakarta. I want to tell him in person. But I can’t.

I miss my dad, God. You know that?